Finally linking up with Alyssa! Alyssa's Back to Blogging challenge had 2 prompts that go very nicely together, so here's my...
You can do it!!!
I was mildly terrified at the idea of being financially dependent on Ryan and not knowing where my income would be coming from. As it turns out, my part time job actually does cover my monthly expenses pretty tidily and, while I definitely don't have as much play money as Ryan, I've had a pretty steady range for my freelance income. Yes, budgeting is helpful for the slow months, but I'm not struggling and I'm not begging money from friends and family, and it's all working out just fine.
Marriage, on the other hand, I had no fears about. I did not expect it to be hard, and that was dumb. It is hard. Incredibly so at times. But in this too, I am stronger than I realized and I can do it. So I think in general, I'd want myself to have more faith in my own strength and ability to grow and adapt.
and...
Sitting on the couch with Ryan, doing our "kick count"* and thinking about this new life we'll have in 3.5 short months. Exchanging glances at a wedding we attended and sharing the thoughts we had while watching 2 other people pledge their lives together. Goofing off and playing Zelda together, which wouldn't normally be that special, but when it's the only downtime you've scheduled for yourself all week? Hells yeah, that was fun.
So I guess what I'm saying is we've hit a sweet spot and, bringing this back to lessons I've learned, while I might once have been tempted to cling to it desperately, hoping to extend it as long as possible and push back the future hard times, I know better now. All you can do is enjoy it while it's here and, hopefully, hold it in your memory for the next time things get rough.
*In case anyone was curious, the kick count is when you literally count the movements you feel from the baby and make sure you get up to at least 10 in a 2 hour period. I think the idea is to get used to monitoring so you notice if there's any big changes in pattern - like if movement drastically slows or stops, so you can let your doctor know asap.
One Thing I Wish I Knew One Year Ago
One year ago, I was very recently married and I was also nerving myself up to drop down to part time in order to pursue this freelance thing. We had (and still have) a lot of life changes coming up, but the lesson is the same for all of them:You can do it!!!
I was mildly terrified at the idea of being financially dependent on Ryan and not knowing where my income would be coming from. As it turns out, my part time job actually does cover my monthly expenses pretty tidily and, while I definitely don't have as much play money as Ryan, I've had a pretty steady range for my freelance income. Yes, budgeting is helpful for the slow months, but I'm not struggling and I'm not begging money from friends and family, and it's all working out just fine.
Marriage, on the other hand, I had no fears about. I did not expect it to be hard, and that was dumb. It is hard. Incredibly so at times. But in this too, I am stronger than I realized and I can do it. So I think in general, I'd want myself to have more faith in my own strength and ability to grow and adapt.
and...
One Thing I Want to Remember About Today
Maybe not literally today, but the past couple weeks as some projects picked up steam and I started getting immersed in the busy-ness of business, I want to remember the slow moments. There weren't many, but the ones we had were very poignant and sweet.Sitting on the couch with Ryan, doing our "kick count"* and thinking about this new life we'll have in 3.5 short months. Exchanging glances at a wedding we attended and sharing the thoughts we had while watching 2 other people pledge their lives together. Goofing off and playing Zelda together, which wouldn't normally be that special, but when it's the only downtime you've scheduled for yourself all week? Hells yeah, that was fun.
So I guess what I'm saying is we've hit a sweet spot and, bringing this back to lessons I've learned, while I might once have been tempted to cling to it desperately, hoping to extend it as long as possible and push back the future hard times, I know better now. All you can do is enjoy it while it's here and, hopefully, hold it in your memory for the next time things get rough.
And that's probably enough sappiness from me today. What do you wish you'd know one year ago? What do you want to remember?
*In case anyone was curious, the kick count is when you literally count the movements you feel from the baby and make sure you get up to at least 10 in a 2 hour period. I think the idea is to get used to monitoring so you notice if there's any big changes in pattern - like if movement drastically slows or stops, so you can let your doctor know asap.
Linking up with Alyssa's Back to Blogging challenge.
