Let's talk Valentine's Day.
People make a big deal about it. Ryan and I don't. Neither of us has a problem with Valentine's Day, specifically, but when you get right down to it, it's just another day. So we don't do elaborate gifts or flowers or chocolate. We typically avoid eating out, because the restaurants are usually crowded. We'll probably spend time together, because that's nice to do anyway.
This year we're running the Chocolate Lover's 5K. And, honestly, I was halfway signed up before I even realized it was on Valentine's Day. I was just excited about the free chocolate.
Anyway, the point is, it's not a terribly special day to either of us. Neither of us has the gift-giving love language, so we don't feel we're missing out on anything by saving some money and sitting this one out.
I rarely put this much thought into this particular holiday, but seeing someone's reaction when they ask me what I'm getting for Ryan, and I say, "Nothing" kind of drives me into this irritated state of rebellion. I also get sick of hearing things like, "My husband didn't get me anything." Is that really the most important thing about the day? Whether or not you "got something"?
In high school, I used to wear all black on Valentine's Day. It was an inside joke, with myself, and I liked the rebellion of not following along with what everyone else was doing. But I didn't dislike the day. Some kids passed out candy, and class was interrupted all day long by singing Valentines. Some of the singing groups were funny, most were talented, and all of it prevented us from having to learn anything, so it was really a pretty great day.
As I've gotten older, and the candygrams have stopped, it's become less exciting and I've become more jaded. You get the concept of a marketing holiday, right? Basically, some company's marketing department comes up with a genius idea and for the history of forever, we will always have to buy their product on that day of the year. Examples: Valentine's Day (obviously), diamond engagement rings (yeah, not a deeply rooted tradition after all), even razors and women shaving their legs.
So I kind of hate the idea of us, as a collective society, being led around like naïve, little children and being brainwashed into putting value into things simply because we're told to. Meanwhile our pockets are getting emptier and theirs are getting fuller.
I also dislike the way a lot of our holidays seem to be tailored to the same pattern: something special happens - so the man buys the woman a present. I know some of you are going to say, "Oh, but I buy my [husband/boyfriend/man of some sort in my life] a gift, too!" And that's great. Here's to overturning the gender stereotype! But I still hear an awful lot of women complaining about the lack of attention from their husbands and nothing from the other gender. I've also been hearing a barrage of jewelry, flower, and chocolate commercials lately, but oddly enough, nothing for tools, beer, or other stereotypical man-type gifts.
I think our society is still skewed in a lot of ways. And I think this "women must be romanced" thing is one of them. And it bugs the heck out of me.
So not doing much for Valentine's Day is equal parts due to resisting sexist traditions, not having my finances be dictated by marketing, and not being a gift oriented person. Oh, and a tiny bit common sense, because even if I was into Valentine's Day, it'd be a heck of a struggle to get Ryan to be.
If you're into Valentine's Day, that's great. If you give me chocolate, even better! Now if I could just get other people to stop trying to make me feel guilty because I don't happen to do things the way they do, yeah, that'd be perfect.
People make a big deal about it. Ryan and I don't. Neither of us has a problem with Valentine's Day, specifically, but when you get right down to it, it's just another day. So we don't do elaborate gifts or flowers or chocolate. We typically avoid eating out, because the restaurants are usually crowded. We'll probably spend time together, because that's nice to do anyway.
This year we're running the Chocolate Lover's 5K. And, honestly, I was halfway signed up before I even realized it was on Valentine's Day. I was just excited about the free chocolate.
Anyway, the point is, it's not a terribly special day to either of us. Neither of us has the gift-giving love language, so we don't feel we're missing out on anything by saving some money and sitting this one out.
I rarely put this much thought into this particular holiday, but seeing someone's reaction when they ask me what I'm getting for Ryan, and I say, "Nothing" kind of drives me into this irritated state of rebellion. I also get sick of hearing things like, "My husband didn't get me anything." Is that really the most important thing about the day? Whether or not you "got something"?
In high school, I used to wear all black on Valentine's Day. It was an inside joke, with myself, and I liked the rebellion of not following along with what everyone else was doing. But I didn't dislike the day. Some kids passed out candy, and class was interrupted all day long by singing Valentines. Some of the singing groups were funny, most were talented, and all of it prevented us from having to learn anything, so it was really a pretty great day.
As I've gotten older, and the candygrams have stopped, it's become less exciting and I've become more jaded. You get the concept of a marketing holiday, right? Basically, some company's marketing department comes up with a genius idea and for the history of forever, we will always have to buy their product on that day of the year. Examples: Valentine's Day (obviously), diamond engagement rings (yeah, not a deeply rooted tradition after all), even razors and women shaving their legs.
So I kind of hate the idea of us, as a collective society, being led around like naïve, little children and being brainwashed into putting value into things simply because we're told to. Meanwhile our pockets are getting emptier and theirs are getting fuller.
I also dislike the way a lot of our holidays seem to be tailored to the same pattern: something special happens - so the man buys the woman a present. I know some of you are going to say, "Oh, but I buy my [husband/boyfriend/man of some sort in my life] a gift, too!" And that's great. Here's to overturning the gender stereotype! But I still hear an awful lot of women complaining about the lack of attention from their husbands and nothing from the other gender. I've also been hearing a barrage of jewelry, flower, and chocolate commercials lately, but oddly enough, nothing for tools, beer, or other stereotypical man-type gifts.
I think our society is still skewed in a lot of ways. And I think this "women must be romanced" thing is one of them. And it bugs the heck out of me.
So not doing much for Valentine's Day is equal parts due to resisting sexist traditions, not having my finances be dictated by marketing, and not being a gift oriented person. Oh, and a tiny bit common sense, because even if I was into Valentine's Day, it'd be a heck of a struggle to get Ryan to be.
If you're into Valentine's Day, that's great. If you give me chocolate, even better! Now if I could just get other people to stop trying to make me feel guilty because I don't happen to do things the way they do, yeah, that'd be perfect.
Do you have plans for Valentine's Day? How do you feel about marketing driving our cultural traditions? Oh, by the way, Happy Valentine's Day!
