Kids are just like dogs.
This is something I've said a lot since having my own, which confirmed most of my suspicions from pre-parent life. I'm always careful about saying it around parents, since people without dogs seem to find it very offensive, but dog owners without kids? They love it.
The response is always something like, "I knew it!"
Yesterday we took Orion into the dog park for the first time since he was a baby (when a golden retriever tried to jump on me to get to him). We figured he's solid enough now to handle it. And it was pretty good!
I feel like a neglectful dog parent most of the time these days because it's gotten so freaking hard to do anything with both dogs and a toddler. Perversely, it was actually easier with a baby because we could at least go to certain dog areas, and he was contained, so I only had to corral 2 beasts. Now? 3 little animals flying off in 3 different directions? Forget it.
I also get more frustrated than I should with the dogs because I have to pour so much energy into parenting my little human. He's constantly needing attention, begging for food, getting into the trash, needing a diaper change, etc, etc. So when I do get a few minutes to myself when he's happily entertaining himself, I really don't want to pet the dog or share my snack or whatever it may be.
Sorry dogs.
BUT! Yesterday at the dog park felt like the I could glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel. There is a time in our future when the kid(s) and dogs can coexist again. And it's maybe closer than I realized. Sometime soon Orion will actually obey when I tell him to walk with us and not into the street, and maybe I can walk him and the dogs together. (Currently it's one or the other so if the dogs don't get walked during the workday, they don't get walked.)
And I know we are starting over again in just a few short months, which might reset that clock a bit, but I think it's still a good reminder that each life phase is just a phase. Right now it's hard for us to manage all the animals at the same time. In a year, or 4, who knows?
And in the meantime, I'm not just giving up on the dogs entirely. I'm lucky enough to have found a job that lets me work remotely 3 days a week. So my goal is to walk the dogs at least once every day that I'm home, and once a week take them to the dog park for a solid run. Last week I didn't fit it in during work/daycare hours, and instead of saying, "Oh well - it is what it is," I dragged our entire family to the dog park because it is important!
I want to be realistic and give myself permission to not treat the dogs like my children anymore now that we have one. But I also want to take reasonably good care of them, or else why even have dogs? Finding that line of responsibility where I feel comfortable with the care we're giving them has been difficult. Because it is a responsibility and I feel strongly that you shouldn't get rid of or neglect pets just because your circumstances have changed.
Confession: I got several months behind on their meds earlier this year. Finally I pulled myself together, made all the vet (and personal doctor) visits I'd been forgetting about, and got them caught up. They had worms. Of course!
This was a wake-up call for me.
My dogs should not be getting worms. They should not be getting any diseases that are preventable through regular medical care.
So I wrote up pet care as one of my goals when I was instituting monthly check-ins and weekly tasks. I made a resolution that whenever I get a notification for "dog meds" or "vet visit," I would handle it as soon as I was physically able to do so. It's like the 5-minute rule, but for scheduling and flea medicine instead of tidying up.
They're all caught up now. They're dewormed. Heck! They've even had a bath within the last 2 weeks.
I don't feel like the best dog parent ever. But I also don't feel like the worst and I can feel comfortable that my dogs are not actually being neglected in any way. Boredom never killed anyone!
And I think, in the end, that's just the balancing act that any kind of parenting is. Constantly trying to do a little bit better without killing yourself.
This is something I've said a lot since having my own, which confirmed most of my suspicions from pre-parent life. I'm always careful about saying it around parents, since people without dogs seem to find it very offensive, but dog owners without kids? They love it.
The response is always something like, "I knew it!"
Yesterday we took Orion into the dog park for the first time since he was a baby (when a golden retriever tried to jump on me to get to him). We figured he's solid enough now to handle it. And it was pretty good!
I feel like a neglectful dog parent most of the time these days because it's gotten so freaking hard to do anything with both dogs and a toddler. Perversely, it was actually easier with a baby because we could at least go to certain dog areas, and he was contained, so I only had to corral 2 beasts. Now? 3 little animals flying off in 3 different directions? Forget it.
I also get more frustrated than I should with the dogs because I have to pour so much energy into parenting my little human. He's constantly needing attention, begging for food, getting into the trash, needing a diaper change, etc, etc. So when I do get a few minutes to myself when he's happily entertaining himself, I really don't want to pet the dog or share my snack or whatever it may be.
Sorry dogs.
BUT! Yesterday at the dog park felt like the I could glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel. There is a time in our future when the kid(s) and dogs can coexist again. And it's maybe closer than I realized. Sometime soon Orion will actually obey when I tell him to walk with us and not into the street, and maybe I can walk him and the dogs together. (Currently it's one or the other so if the dogs don't get walked during the workday, they don't get walked.)
And I know we are starting over again in just a few short months, which might reset that clock a bit, but I think it's still a good reminder that each life phase is just a phase. Right now it's hard for us to manage all the animals at the same time. In a year, or 4, who knows?
And in the meantime, I'm not just giving up on the dogs entirely. I'm lucky enough to have found a job that lets me work remotely 3 days a week. So my goal is to walk the dogs at least once every day that I'm home, and once a week take them to the dog park for a solid run. Last week I didn't fit it in during work/daycare hours, and instead of saying, "Oh well - it is what it is," I dragged our entire family to the dog park because it is important!
I want to be realistic and give myself permission to not treat the dogs like my children anymore now that we have one. But I also want to take reasonably good care of them, or else why even have dogs? Finding that line of responsibility where I feel comfortable with the care we're giving them has been difficult. Because it is a responsibility and I feel strongly that you shouldn't get rid of or neglect pets just because your circumstances have changed.
Confession: I got several months behind on their meds earlier this year. Finally I pulled myself together, made all the vet (and personal doctor) visits I'd been forgetting about, and got them caught up. They had worms. Of course!
This was a wake-up call for me.
My dogs should not be getting worms. They should not be getting any diseases that are preventable through regular medical care.
So I wrote up pet care as one of my goals when I was instituting monthly check-ins and weekly tasks. I made a resolution that whenever I get a notification for "dog meds" or "vet visit," I would handle it as soon as I was physically able to do so. It's like the 5-minute rule, but for scheduling and flea medicine instead of tidying up.
They're all caught up now. They're dewormed. Heck! They've even had a bath within the last 2 weeks.
I don't feel like the best dog parent ever. But I also don't feel like the worst and I can feel comfortable that my dogs are not actually being neglected in any way. Boredom never killed anyone!
And I think, in the end, that's just the balancing act that any kind of parenting is. Constantly trying to do a little bit better without killing yourself.
