"You might be noticing a significant increase in the size of your breasts..."
Last time around, checking the app for updates was the first thing I did when I got up every day!
Now, it's all kind of, "Meh, I remember that from last time." And, "Seriously? No! My boobs aren't getting any bigger!!!"
According to the app I should be exiting the nausea phase, which I never truly entered. According to the app, my boobs should explode a cup size or three. According to the app, cravings are quite normal, but any baby bumps at this stage are due to extra calories and not to the baby, so keep that in mind, mom. Wink, wink.
This app doesn't know me at all.
So maybe part of my disillusionment is having experienced it before, and maybe part of it is how generic it is. I don't know why I'm lucky enough to get to skip all the throwing up. But it's awesome and I don't really need tips on how to handle it.
My diet, while not terrible for regular meals, has almost always included copious amounts of sugar. The little hints and nudges aren't going to help with that.
And the one thing that really bugs me is all the reminders (like twice a week!) that most women get to enjoy having bigger boobs during pregnancy and nursing, whereas mine stayed the same and then shrank. There are no improvements happening over here!
I do like the little animals. And I'm a little shocked at the progress. I'm only 8 weeks along and already the baby is the size of something-something seahorse or a strawberry. How can there be a strawberry in there?! I have no symptoms!!!
When Orion was born, I had the interesting perception of time slowing down. Way, way down. Each day was an odyssey, some good and some bad, and many roller coastering between the 2 several times.
I think time "sped up" when I started to feel more comfortable in the mom role, and definitely when he headed off to daycare and I started to work more. I read an article recently that said routines speed time up, while novelty slows it down.
I want that experience of slower time again for the next one. I wouldn't mind skipping some of the weeping, but I want to look back and remember rocking for an hour, or reading a book with a sleeping baby cuddled on my chest. I want to have the free time to be just a mom and not trying to do it all like I did last time.
I'm worried that we won't have much say over that. If I'm still self employed, I can control my workflow to some extent. Or I can keep taking projects, but bring Breena back on to do them. But if I have a job, I may not get to choose how long my maternity leave is. And Orion will still need to be cared for, regardless of the new baby.
My initial reaction to finding out I was pregnant wasn't 100% positive. We'd just had a rough week with Orion teething and fussy and throwing all kinds of tantrums. Mentally picturing that PLUS a newborn made me want to throw in the towel.
I'm feeling better now. It's easier to face obstacles when Orion isn't sick. But I'm sure it will be a new set of challenges. Orion won't be the center of attention anymore. And I'll have to make hard decisions like "Which one do I pick up when they're both crying?"
We'll get through it. Everyone else with multiple kids has! But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel some apprehension as well.
