I'm 30 today! And, in true blogger form, I have thoughts.
30 is different from previous birthdays in that it feels both significant and an afterthought. I've been telling people I'm 30 for the last couple years when I get confused so it's not upsetting to hit a new decade, and I'm not worried about aging. I think maybe the people who are most upset about getting older are the ones who haven't achieved what they think they should have at that point in their lives. Still figuring out careers, waiting to settle down, or have kids, or whatever other thing society tells us we should have by this age.
I'm fortunate in that I do have the things I wanted to have - although in my head a lot of them were going to happen a few years sooner. But now that I'm here, with a business and a husband and a baby, I'm glad I didn't do it earlier.
30 feels so much more balanced than previous ages. I'm starting to get to the point where I wake up and body parts hurt for no reason, but it's nothing debilitating yet and I have no fears about being able to keep up with small children over the next 10 years or so. My mind, on the other hand, is only improving over time and I'm so glad I won't be subjecting children to the emotional immaturity I had 5 or 10 years ago.
So I feel like I've hit a sweet spot in regards to improved self awareness and being generally a better person and liking myself, but not yet being old enough that I'll physically struggle with my current goals, like having kids or running 5ks.
Sister3 asked me the other night, "Is this the phase of life when everything starts moving faster?"
She's 4 years younger than I am, but yeah, I do think things started to "speed up" around 25/26. BUT something amazing happened 5 months ago. TIME SLOWED DOWN AGAIN.
I always though time would just go faster and faster until death. And it scared me a little bit, because if it already felt fast in my 20's, what would it feel like as an 80-year-old? But it doesn't have to be that way.
Time feels incredibly slow right now because of Orion. Part of that is due to being tired or stretched thin or acutely aware of how messy the house is. But part of that is just because he's commanded so much of my undivided attention.
Quite by accident I find myself living in the moment more. And it's really nice because all the cute baby stuff isn't shooting by, even though I'm constantly "busy." Sometimes when Orion is napping, I'll catch myself staring at his little face and think, "Oh, I should go do something productive." And then I think, "No. This is exactly what I should be doing right now."
Because all that "productive" stuff will still be there later. But that cute, little baby face will change and grow and eventually leave me. I can't change that, nor do I want to, but I can get all the enjoyment possible out of the present moment.
So that's one nice thing about 30. Another nice thing? Feeling like a "grown up." Sometimes at networking events I still feel like no one will take me seriously because of my age and then I remember that I'm 30. I'm not even a "young adult" anymore and people probably don't think twice about the fact that I have my own business.
I was telling Sister3 how much more confident I feel in my business, setting boundaries with clients and raising my prices. In truth, it's probably more due to experience and practice than age, but getting older and trying things is the only way to gain experience, so they're linked in my mind.
I also decided at some point to just be honest with people, while being as nice as possible about it. Most of the time it works! But even when it doesn't, like with MLM guy, I don't agonize over the situation or doubt my actions. Maybe I could have been more polished - I'll do better next time. What's more important is that my integrity is intact because I didn't bullshit and I didn't add stress to my life by caving to shady sales tactics or putting myself in a situation I'd have to scramble to get out of later.
The other day, I saw a familiar name in one of my networking groups. It was a girl who had taken the pro-life stance in a debate we had in English class in high school. I've clung to this memory because I thought her argument was stupid and I resented the teacher for cutting off the debate after she got to have her say and the pro-choice kids didn't get a rebuttal. But for the very first time when thinking of that memory, I thought, "Maybe [teacher] cut off the debate because it was 1 person against a whole room and she felt awkward or ganged up on or we were being disrespectful of her religious beliefs."
Whoa. Who is this person in my brain letting go of ancient grudges just like that???
I'm not gonna lie - forgiveness for real things, not just little petty memories, is still tough for me. But it feels like a turning point. It feels like all my struggling for self improvement, all the self help I've read, and the counselors I've talked to, have finally made some little adjustments to the paths my brain takes.
So if that's what 30 means for me, I'll take it. Happily.
I'll take the tired eyes and wrinkles and stress, if it means I get a family and business and general satisfaction with the direction of my life. I'll take the stiff back and weird aching-for-no-reason shoulder if it means I finally like myself as a person, and I feel confident in my own ventures while being forgiving of others. I'll even take the slowly sagging boobs as a fair trade-off for the continued improvements that the future holds.
Yep, 30 is a pretty good age.
30 is different from previous birthdays in that it feels both significant and an afterthought. I've been telling people I'm 30 for the last couple years when I get confused so it's not upsetting to hit a new decade, and I'm not worried about aging. I think maybe the people who are most upset about getting older are the ones who haven't achieved what they think they should have at that point in their lives. Still figuring out careers, waiting to settle down, or have kids, or whatever other thing society tells us we should have by this age.
I'm fortunate in that I do have the things I wanted to have - although in my head a lot of them were going to happen a few years sooner. But now that I'm here, with a business and a husband and a baby, I'm glad I didn't do it earlier.
30 feels so much more balanced than previous ages. I'm starting to get to the point where I wake up and body parts hurt for no reason, but it's nothing debilitating yet and I have no fears about being able to keep up with small children over the next 10 years or so. My mind, on the other hand, is only improving over time and I'm so glad I won't be subjecting children to the emotional immaturity I had 5 or 10 years ago.
So I feel like I've hit a sweet spot in regards to improved self awareness and being generally a better person and liking myself, but not yet being old enough that I'll physically struggle with my current goals, like having kids or running 5ks.
Sister3 asked me the other night, "Is this the phase of life when everything starts moving faster?"
She's 4 years younger than I am, but yeah, I do think things started to "speed up" around 25/26. BUT something amazing happened 5 months ago. TIME SLOWED DOWN AGAIN.
I always though time would just go faster and faster until death. And it scared me a little bit, because if it already felt fast in my 20's, what would it feel like as an 80-year-old? But it doesn't have to be that way.
Time feels incredibly slow right now because of Orion. Part of that is due to being tired or stretched thin or acutely aware of how messy the house is. But part of that is just because he's commanded so much of my undivided attention.
Quite by accident I find myself living in the moment more. And it's really nice because all the cute baby stuff isn't shooting by, even though I'm constantly "busy." Sometimes when Orion is napping, I'll catch myself staring at his little face and think, "Oh, I should go do something productive." And then I think, "No. This is exactly what I should be doing right now."
Because all that "productive" stuff will still be there later. But that cute, little baby face will change and grow and eventually leave me. I can't change that, nor do I want to, but I can get all the enjoyment possible out of the present moment.
So that's one nice thing about 30. Another nice thing? Feeling like a "grown up." Sometimes at networking events I still feel like no one will take me seriously because of my age and then I remember that I'm 30. I'm not even a "young adult" anymore and people probably don't think twice about the fact that I have my own business.
I was telling Sister3 how much more confident I feel in my business, setting boundaries with clients and raising my prices. In truth, it's probably more due to experience and practice than age, but getting older and trying things is the only way to gain experience, so they're linked in my mind.
I also decided at some point to just be honest with people, while being as nice as possible about it. Most of the time it works! But even when it doesn't, like with MLM guy, I don't agonize over the situation or doubt my actions. Maybe I could have been more polished - I'll do better next time. What's more important is that my integrity is intact because I didn't bullshit and I didn't add stress to my life by caving to shady sales tactics or putting myself in a situation I'd have to scramble to get out of later.
The other day, I saw a familiar name in one of my networking groups. It was a girl who had taken the pro-life stance in a debate we had in English class in high school. I've clung to this memory because I thought her argument was stupid and I resented the teacher for cutting off the debate after she got to have her say and the pro-choice kids didn't get a rebuttal. But for the very first time when thinking of that memory, I thought, "Maybe [teacher] cut off the debate because it was 1 person against a whole room and she felt awkward or ganged up on or we were being disrespectful of her religious beliefs."
Whoa. Who is this person in my brain letting go of ancient grudges just like that???
I'm not gonna lie - forgiveness for real things, not just little petty memories, is still tough for me. But it feels like a turning point. It feels like all my struggling for self improvement, all the self help I've read, and the counselors I've talked to, have finally made some little adjustments to the paths my brain takes.
So if that's what 30 means for me, I'll take it. Happily.
I'll take the tired eyes and wrinkles and stress, if it means I get a family and business and general satisfaction with the direction of my life. I'll take the stiff back and weird aching-for-no-reason shoulder if it means I finally like myself as a person, and I feel confident in my own ventures while being forgiving of others. I'll even take the slowly sagging boobs as a fair trade-off for the continued improvements that the future holds.
Yep, 30 is a pretty good age.
What was your favorite age and why? How do you feel like you've improved as you've gotten older?
