Confession: I have become one of "those people." You know, the obnoxious friend you can pretty much count on to keep you waiting for 15 minutes. The late friend.
I know this because a friend of mine literally said, "You're my late friend."
And I was distressed and appalled by this because I had thought I was improving! I'm definitely trying, and in attempting to address this problem, I have identified a few key mistakes that people with chronic tardiness habitually make.
Oh, and I should also confess that my blog title is misleading. There is, in fact, no science in this post.
Here's an example of how exactly an evening with me and Ryan goes down.
30 minutes prior to planned departure time...
Jenn: I really want to be on time this time.
Ryan: I only need 10 minutes to get ready.
Jenn: Well I'm going to go get ready now.
10 minutes prior to planned departure time...
Jenn: Please go get ready.
Ryan: Yep, just let me reach a stopping point with whatever derpy phone game I'm currently obsessed with.
8 minutes prior to planned departure time...
Ryan: Now is a good time for a shower.
Jenn: We're not leaving in 8 minutes but thankfully I built in 5 extra minutes to the travel time I based on the minimum time needed to get there without any margin of error! Surely we'll still make it.
0 minutes prior to planned departure time...
Ryan: La la la, throwing on my clothes, so ready to leave and totally on time.
Jenn: Well, since he's not ready, let me just...
10 minutes after planned departure time...
Ryan: Are YOU ready to go?
Jenn: I am irritated that we are late and OBVIOUSLY I have been waiting on you even though I did 10 extra unnecessary minutes of makeup.
Ryan: Well, I'll just go get in the car...
Jenn: WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THE DOGS AND WE'RE LATE NOW SO WE HAVE TO START POWER WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE AND WHERE IS MY PURSE?!?!?!
I was out on a coffee date with someone a while back and we were talking about this. She said she pissed off some of her Facebook friends by flat-out accusing chronic late-comers of a lack of consideration for other people's time.
As much as I'd like to defend my people, I think I have to concede this point. But let me explain! It's not that, in the moment of getting ready, I think to myself, "Should I be on time or should I make so-and-so wait for me for 15 minutes? Aw, fuck 'em." No! BUT if I truly, really cared about the impact my actions had on others, I would take the time to think it through and figure out how to fix the problem.
Which is part of what I'm doing here. Obviously I've spent a lot of time analyzing my reasons for being late, but I need to spend more time in corrective action. I've gotten to the point where I'm on time about half the time, but I really want to get back to being the consistently punctual friend I was once upon a time.
In addition to being more considerate of other people's time, it's a much less stressful way to live. I don't enjoy rushing around and driving like a jerk because I'm trying to make up a couple extra minutes. I don't imagine too many people do.
I didn't really want to turn this into a goals post, so I won't list my corrective actions, but I think it's fairly obvious anyway. Leave extra time, don't procrastinate, etc, etc. I know what my problem areas are now, and I swear I'm working on it!
Next social faux pas to address: remembering names.
I know this because a friend of mine literally said, "You're my late friend."
And I was distressed and appalled by this because I had thought I was improving! I'm definitely trying, and in attempting to address this problem, I have identified a few key mistakes that people with chronic tardiness habitually make.
Oh, and I should also confess that my blog title is misleading. There is, in fact, no science in this post.
The Real Reasons My People Can't Be On Time to Save Their Lives
1. We Underestimate the Base Time Needed
When estimating time to get somewhere, we look back at the fastest we've ever made the journey.2. We Leave No Margin for Error
Traffic? Whaaat??? This never happens and is clearly not my fault.3. We Forget that Walking Across the Parking Lot Isn't Instantaneous
I was arguing a time estimate with my mom one time and she gave me her reasoning for her (in my mind excessive) travel time. I was completely flabbergasted when she mentioned leaving 5 minutes to get from the car into the building.4. We're Not Trying to Be Early - Just On Time
You know that saying, "If you're 15 minutes early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late"? We don't. Unfortunately this also removes yet another safety margin.5. We Find Last Minute Things to Fill Any Extra Time
Because we don't particularly want to be early, if we ever find ourselves with extra time, we say, "Oh good! Now I can clean the toilet/tidy up the bedroom/pack myself a lunch/etc."6. Some of Us Are Just Horrible Procrastinators
I'm cutting the "we" because I don't think I'm guilty of this one, but I've argued extensively with Ryan about it. Maybe it really does only take you 10 minutes to get ready, but if you're going to goof off for an hour before going somewhere, why not get ready and then goof off after?Here's an example of how exactly an evening with me and Ryan goes down.
30 minutes prior to planned departure time...
Jenn: I really want to be on time this time.
Ryan: I only need 10 minutes to get ready.
Jenn: Well I'm going to go get ready now.
10 minutes prior to planned departure time...
Jenn: Please go get ready.
Ryan: Yep, just let me reach a stopping point with whatever derpy phone game I'm currently obsessed with.
8 minutes prior to planned departure time...
Ryan: Now is a good time for a shower.
Jenn: We're not leaving in 8 minutes but thankfully I built in 5 extra minutes to the travel time I based on the minimum time needed to get there without any margin of error! Surely we'll still make it.
0 minutes prior to planned departure time...
Ryan: La la la, throwing on my clothes, so ready to leave and totally on time.
Jenn: Well, since he's not ready, let me just...
10 minutes after planned departure time...
Ryan: Are YOU ready to go?
Jenn: I am irritated that we are late and OBVIOUSLY I have been waiting on you even though I did 10 extra unnecessary minutes of makeup.
Ryan: Well, I'll just go get in the car...
Jenn: WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THE DOGS AND WE'RE LATE NOW SO WE HAVE TO START POWER WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE AND WHERE IS MY PURSE?!?!?!
I was out on a coffee date with someone a while back and we were talking about this. She said she pissed off some of her Facebook friends by flat-out accusing chronic late-comers of a lack of consideration for other people's time.
As much as I'd like to defend my people, I think I have to concede this point. But let me explain! It's not that, in the moment of getting ready, I think to myself, "Should I be on time or should I make so-and-so wait for me for 15 minutes? Aw, fuck 'em." No! BUT if I truly, really cared about the impact my actions had on others, I would take the time to think it through and figure out how to fix the problem.
Which is part of what I'm doing here. Obviously I've spent a lot of time analyzing my reasons for being late, but I need to spend more time in corrective action. I've gotten to the point where I'm on time about half the time, but I really want to get back to being the consistently punctual friend I was once upon a time.
In addition to being more considerate of other people's time, it's a much less stressful way to live. I don't enjoy rushing around and driving like a jerk because I'm trying to make up a couple extra minutes. I don't imagine too many people do.
I didn't really want to turn this into a goals post, so I won't list my corrective actions, but I think it's fairly obvious anyway. Leave extra time, don't procrastinate, etc, etc. I know what my problem areas are now, and I swear I'm working on it!
Next social faux pas to address: remembering names.
Are you a late or early person? If you're late, do you have the same reasons I do or a whole set of different ones?
