I've learned plenty of things as I've grown, and I'm sure I'll learn plenty more. But there are certain learning experiments that really stand out in my memory, sharp little snapshots of my brain making a realization and retaining that memory forever. Or, you know, a long time.
The earliest and best example is from childhood.
Whoa. Mind blowing stuff, I know. I was in 4th or 5th grade (old enough to already know this, but I didn't), and I had an argument with a friend. She thought we lived in the same neighborhood, and I was pretty sure we didn't.
So after arguing about things like number of cats, house colors, and other equally definitive things, I went home frustrated and said to my mother, "Amanda thinks she lives in my neighborhood, but I think she's wrong." My mom gently corrected me, "She thinks YOU live in HER neighborhood."
My little brain just about exploded.
There are also more recent (though not less embarrassing) stories.
For far longer than I should, I believed my parents had the answers to all life questions. The first time I moved out, every little question I had about home maintenance, cooking, cleaning, or finance - I'd call my mom. No question about it; she would know the answer! And, more to the point, she must know the right answer, because she always makes the right decisions!
So jump a few years ahead, when my mom and I were trying to run our little, family web design company. We had a client meeting, and it went pretty well and we were excited about it. There was only a couple tiny flaws in our presentation, and I thought we should probably discuss them so we could have a smoother meeting with our next client, whoever that might be.
Being of my generation, I typed up my thoughts and emailed it to my mother immediately. Face to face conversation - pah! Email is where it's at. But I offended her, despite having no intention to do so, and I was totally taken aback that she could even be offended.
How could someone with all the answers be upset by someone else's criticism? Especially by a lesser creature like myself? Unless... she had insecurities of her own and was NOT always 100% confident in her own abilities. What? My mother? A normal human?
In truth, my Mom is still a great resource and has information and words of wisdom for many, many different situations. And I still seek her council in a variety of matters. But I've finally learned to do my own research and find some things out on my own. You know, the adult way.
I've had to learn this several times and it's quite frequently embarrassing. I'll give you the example that sticks out the most.
I was at work (at my current job - yes, I'm still learning things the hard way) and my supervisor asked me a question.
"Can you export files from ABBYY FineReader in an HTML format?"
I said, immediately and confidently, "No."
He responded, tactfully, "Are you sure?"
Given a moment to rethink the situation, I realized: I had no basis whatsoever for my assurance. So I opened the program and a file and actually tried to do what he asked. You know what? Not only was it POSSIBLE, it was easy, and the option was in an obvious place that I could see every time I used the program.
Face palm. The worst part is that this is only the most recent in the many, many times I've done this. But I did it right last time! The last time someone asked me if something was possible, I said, "I think [blah, blah, blah], but let me check." And I was wrong, but it was ok, because I double checked.
This goes for facts, too, because a lot of "interesting trivia" or even "common knowledge" is blatantly false. So if you can't remember where you heard something, or someone challenges you on something, do the both of you a favor and look it up.
The earliest and best example is from childhood.
Life Lesson #1: Other People See Things From Their Own Point of View
Whoa. Mind blowing stuff, I know. I was in 4th or 5th grade (old enough to already know this, but I didn't), and I had an argument with a friend. She thought we lived in the same neighborhood, and I was pretty sure we didn't.
So after arguing about things like number of cats, house colors, and other equally definitive things, I went home frustrated and said to my mother, "Amanda thinks she lives in my neighborhood, but I think she's wrong." My mom gently corrected me, "She thinks YOU live in HER neighborhood."
My little brain just about exploded.
There are also more recent (though not less embarrassing) stories.
Life Lesson #2: My Parents are Fallible Human Creatures
For far longer than I should, I believed my parents had the answers to all life questions. The first time I moved out, every little question I had about home maintenance, cooking, cleaning, or finance - I'd call my mom. No question about it; she would know the answer! And, more to the point, she must know the right answer, because she always makes the right decisions!
So jump a few years ahead, when my mom and I were trying to run our little, family web design company. We had a client meeting, and it went pretty well and we were excited about it. There was only a couple tiny flaws in our presentation, and I thought we should probably discuss them so we could have a smoother meeting with our next client, whoever that might be.
Being of my generation, I typed up my thoughts and emailed it to my mother immediately. Face to face conversation - pah! Email is where it's at. But I offended her, despite having no intention to do so, and I was totally taken aback that she could even be offended.
How could someone with all the answers be upset by someone else's criticism? Especially by a lesser creature like myself? Unless... she had insecurities of her own and was NOT always 100% confident in her own abilities. What? My mother? A normal human?
In truth, my Mom is still a great resource and has information and words of wisdom for many, many different situations. And I still seek her council in a variety of matters. But I've finally learned to do my own research and find some things out on my own. You know, the adult way.
Life Lesson #3: Double Check Your "Facts"
I've had to learn this several times and it's quite frequently embarrassing. I'll give you the example that sticks out the most.
I was at work (at my current job - yes, I'm still learning things the hard way) and my supervisor asked me a question.
"Can you export files from ABBYY FineReader in an HTML format?"
I said, immediately and confidently, "No."
He responded, tactfully, "Are you sure?"
Given a moment to rethink the situation, I realized: I had no basis whatsoever for my assurance. So I opened the program and a file and actually tried to do what he asked. You know what? Not only was it POSSIBLE, it was easy, and the option was in an obvious place that I could see every time I used the program.
Face palm. The worst part is that this is only the most recent in the many, many times I've done this. But I did it right last time! The last time someone asked me if something was possible, I said, "I think [blah, blah, blah], but let me check." And I was wrong, but it was ok, because I double checked.
This goes for facts, too, because a lot of "interesting trivia" or even "common knowledge" is blatantly false. So if you can't remember where you heard something, or someone challenges you on something, do the both of you a favor and look it up.
Bonus: My Alcohol Commandments
- Thou shalt not mix the alcohol with the Chinese food; the result is uncouth.
- Thou shalt not accept the free beverage; "free" is a relative term and the price is frequently paid in "you owe me" type behaviors, and general obnoxiousness. In other words, the drink providers become uncouth.
- Thou shalt not drink to forget great sadness; sadness has a way of coming back up along with the alcohol. Uncouth.
What life lessons have you gathered through the years? Which ones should have been obvious, but weren't?
