I was going to write a humor post with something like "Life Lessons from a Baby" and then I realized there was really only one. And then I analyzed it to death and turned it into this instead.
I've been told by several people that Orion is a "good sleeper." I wouldn't know, I only have the one kid so no basis for comparison. But even as a "good sleeper" it's still hard to put him to sleep.
He fights it. He looks around and smiles at the dogs or Ryan or anyone else who happens to be within view, even when he's so tired that he'll start crying the next minute. I have to feed him sitting up because he doesn't want to lay down and get sleepy.
Sometimes he's still awake when I set him down at the crib and leave the room and I turn back to say, "Good night baby" and he gives me this super happy, manipulative little smile that almost cracks me and sends me back into the room to pick him up and hold him some more.
I know that smile isn't for me. It's an attempt to stay awake a little longer. Because life is so amazing and so fun that he can't stand the idea of being asleep and missing out on a few hours of it.
I can't remember the last time I cherished my time that much. That I enjoyed it so thoroughly that I wasn't willing for it to end.
I do remember being a child when the day after Christmas felt almost like a hangover. That crushing disappointment of the holiday ending and all the decorations being put away. No more anticipation, no more twinkly lights and old-fashioned carols.
In general, I think things are very immediate and very intense as a kid. The highs are high, the lows are low, and I don't miss the crazy emotional mood swings of my teens. But I do miss the zest for life and living and the enthusiasm I felt for my hobbies.
I was listening to an audiobook the other day and it was making a point about how at some point in the last few generations, it's become parent's job to be their kids' playmate in addition to parent. How they have to structure everything. I think the point the book was making was that we should step back and let kids be kids while we do our own, adult things.
But I wasn't in the mood for that message (though I'm sure it's valid in many ways). I want to have fun with my kids. I want to see things through their eyes and enjoy it vicariously through their enjoyment. I want to play with them and laugh and be silly again.
A couple weeks ago, I was checking out at the grocery store. It was nearing bedtime and I had Orion with me, so I was alternating talking to the cashier and doing payment things with making faces at the baby and eating his feet. (Gotta keep the fussiness at bay, people!) The woman behind me had 2 older kids in one of those horrible bulky car/cart things and they were obviously on her last nerve.
I could tell the cashier felt as awkward as I did because all small talk ceased as she berated her kids and I paid and left as soon as physically possible. It's not like she was screaming or anything but there was a lot of, "Just stop it!" and "This is the last time I'm telling you." and so on.
On my way to the car I passed another family, and it was like night and day. The dad finished loading the car while the mom tickled her son and they laughed together. He put their child into his car seat while she brought the cart over to the cart corral and half a smile lingered on her face as she made eye contact with me.
I'm not judging either of these people. For all I know Mom A was having a terrible day and Mom B had just won the lottery. But it did make me think about my own relationship with my son and future kids.
Lesson 1) The higher the kid to adult ratio, the more stressful life is. Lesson 2) As much as possible, I want to be the second mom. I want to be having fun and enjoying the moment and not just struggling to get through life while irritating shit happens to me.
There's not a whole lot I can change in my parenting style now - an infant can only do so much, after all. But it's a lesson I want to apply to the rest of my life. I want more time for fun, and I want to plan events I'm genuinely excited about. I want to savor the anticipation instead of pushing it to the back of my mind until it's time to go. I want to do things in my business that excite me and I want to try new things.
If you go out and seek them, you're offered a lot of opportunities as a business owner. Coffee dates, conferences, events, committee roles, and so on. A fellow designer who recruited me for the DE Small Business Chamber's marketing committee has mentioned a couple times that the board often has openings for new directors.
It seems smart - there's perks and you sit at a high table during events, and everyone knows your name. But the idea makes me feel tired and reluctant. You know what does excite me?
Business conferences. Speaking opportunities. Classes.
I think I need to follow that little thrill of excitement I feel when considering certain possibilities and listen to my gut when it says, "Meh." It doesn't always need to be the most logical choice or the most productive for my business. Sometimes my choices can be purely for me to be happy and excited and enjoying the moment again.
Long term gains are just that - long term - and they're important to keep in mind but you don't know how much time you, or anyone else, has. So I want to make the most of the here and now. I want to blow bubbles and laugh and eat ice cream and sign up for way too many productivity courses and ready fluff and be happy.
I've been told by several people that Orion is a "good sleeper." I wouldn't know, I only have the one kid so no basis for comparison. But even as a "good sleeper" it's still hard to put him to sleep.
He fights it. He looks around and smiles at the dogs or Ryan or anyone else who happens to be within view, even when he's so tired that he'll start crying the next minute. I have to feed him sitting up because he doesn't want to lay down and get sleepy.
Sometimes he's still awake when I set him down at the crib and leave the room and I turn back to say, "Good night baby" and he gives me this super happy, manipulative little smile that almost cracks me and sends me back into the room to pick him up and hold him some more.
I know that smile isn't for me. It's an attempt to stay awake a little longer. Because life is so amazing and so fun that he can't stand the idea of being asleep and missing out on a few hours of it.
I can't remember the last time I cherished my time that much. That I enjoyed it so thoroughly that I wasn't willing for it to end.
I do remember being a child when the day after Christmas felt almost like a hangover. That crushing disappointment of the holiday ending and all the decorations being put away. No more anticipation, no more twinkly lights and old-fashioned carols.
In general, I think things are very immediate and very intense as a kid. The highs are high, the lows are low, and I don't miss the crazy emotional mood swings of my teens. But I do miss the zest for life and living and the enthusiasm I felt for my hobbies.
I was listening to an audiobook the other day and it was making a point about how at some point in the last few generations, it's become parent's job to be their kids' playmate in addition to parent. How they have to structure everything. I think the point the book was making was that we should step back and let kids be kids while we do our own, adult things.
But I wasn't in the mood for that message (though I'm sure it's valid in many ways). I want to have fun with my kids. I want to see things through their eyes and enjoy it vicariously through their enjoyment. I want to play with them and laugh and be silly again.
A couple weeks ago, I was checking out at the grocery store. It was nearing bedtime and I had Orion with me, so I was alternating talking to the cashier and doing payment things with making faces at the baby and eating his feet. (Gotta keep the fussiness at bay, people!) The woman behind me had 2 older kids in one of those horrible bulky car/cart things and they were obviously on her last nerve.
I could tell the cashier felt as awkward as I did because all small talk ceased as she berated her kids and I paid and left as soon as physically possible. It's not like she was screaming or anything but there was a lot of, "Just stop it!" and "This is the last time I'm telling you." and so on.
On my way to the car I passed another family, and it was like night and day. The dad finished loading the car while the mom tickled her son and they laughed together. He put their child into his car seat while she brought the cart over to the cart corral and half a smile lingered on her face as she made eye contact with me.
I'm not judging either of these people. For all I know Mom A was having a terrible day and Mom B had just won the lottery. But it did make me think about my own relationship with my son and future kids.
Lesson 1) The higher the kid to adult ratio, the more stressful life is. Lesson 2) As much as possible, I want to be the second mom. I want to be having fun and enjoying the moment and not just struggling to get through life while irritating shit happens to me.
There's not a whole lot I can change in my parenting style now - an infant can only do so much, after all. But it's a lesson I want to apply to the rest of my life. I want more time for fun, and I want to plan events I'm genuinely excited about. I want to savor the anticipation instead of pushing it to the back of my mind until it's time to go. I want to do things in my business that excite me and I want to try new things.
If you go out and seek them, you're offered a lot of opportunities as a business owner. Coffee dates, conferences, events, committee roles, and so on. A fellow designer who recruited me for the DE Small Business Chamber's marketing committee has mentioned a couple times that the board often has openings for new directors.
It seems smart - there's perks and you sit at a high table during events, and everyone knows your name. But the idea makes me feel tired and reluctant. You know what does excite me?
Business conferences. Speaking opportunities. Classes.
I think I need to follow that little thrill of excitement I feel when considering certain possibilities and listen to my gut when it says, "Meh." It doesn't always need to be the most logical choice or the most productive for my business. Sometimes my choices can be purely for me to be happy and excited and enjoying the moment again.
Long term gains are just that - long term - and they're important to keep in mind but you don't know how much time you, or anyone else, has. So I want to make the most of the here and now. I want to blow bubbles and laugh and eat ice cream and sign up for way too many productivity courses and ready fluff and be happy.
How do you live in the moment? What makes your day-to-day life enjoyable?
