Well look at me, posting this a mere 2 months late. I was actually going to just let it go but then Kelli and I were talking about running a weeklong happiness challenge in our Facebook group (for creative entrepreneurs if you're interested!) and I felt compelled to finally summarize.
I knew going in that this would be tough. I was already physically uncomfortable, starting to get freaked out about having a baby at the end of the month, and trying to wrap up a bunch of loose ends.
As per usual, I was sporadic with my affirmations. I love the idea of these so much but am terrible at remembering them. I think I need to actually print them out and put them on the mirror or something. I'm still not giving up on the idea of affirmations, but they didn't do a whole lot for me for this month of the challenge.
As for my business' contribution to my overall happiness, yes. This area definitely makes me happier now. I'm enjoying so many different aspects of my business and I'm not tying success just to each month's income. I've learned to look at the bigger picture and hopefully that will help me build something sustainable that doesn't have to scramble for income each month. Only time will tell, but for now I'm content to keep working and see what happens.
Edit: I wrote this mini summary back in January. 2 months later I have a LOT going on. About as much as I want to try to handle with the new baby. So yes, networking has definitely paid off, and I'm starting to see some real results here, in addition to feeling more fulfilled by the business.
And yeah, it does make me happier. Even the most introverted of us need human interaction and online doesn't always cut it (though it makes a pretty huge impact too!). Gretchen Rubin gets into the science of this in her book, but I've also noticed the impact in my own relatives. The more socially involved they are after retirement and into seniority, the happier they seem to be. I'm not going to run out and join a church group just because my happiest grandparent is in one, but I definitely want to keep a focus on community as I get older and continue to involve myself in clubs and social groups.
I feel like the older I get, the easier it is to let friendships grow apart and not put forth the effort to make plans or attend activities (everyone's so busy, after all!), but both scientific and anecdotal evidence shows that it does matter. So it's something I want to remember both for my later years and because it's already made me happier this past year.
And while I called this "self actualization" I don't think I'm not achieving it by dropping those projects. I think I just learned that I feel more actualized by being an entrepreneur than an author. For now. I might still write a book one day, but it won't be today and it probably won't be this book.
I suppose I could cheat and say the overall impact on my happiness was positive because I let go of unnecessary obligations. But in reality I just didn't do this, and I don't spend much time reflecting on it, so it didn't have an impact.
I did the exercise from the book and tried to set my core values and so on, and I made some goals for 2017 based on the gaps. One core value was "entrepreneurialism" and I don't feel like I need to work on that right now, in large part because I spend a whole month dedicated to it.
I don't feel it's necessarily practical to divide your entire life up into months with a single focus, but I do want to continue trying to bridge the gaps between what I care about and what my actions are. So in a way, I guess I'm planning on making this whole concept an inherent part of my life.
And maybe it already was. I mean, what is self improvement, if not making changes to become what you think you should be or to emulate what's important to you? But thanks to this project and some of the reading I did in the final month, I have a more strategic way to go about it. And I hope, above all, to do as Gretchen does and "Be Jenn." To pick the values that really matter to me and not just read self help books from the "I should care about this" category.
Month 5 Update: Mindset
I knew going in that this would be tough. I was already physically uncomfortable, starting to get freaked out about having a baby at the end of the month, and trying to wrap up a bunch of loose ends.
Affirmations
Resolutions
- Read parenting books - Mostly check. I finished the one I'd been reading my entire pregnancy (What to Expect) and skimmed a couple others. Ultimately I decided I didn't need to read an entire book on every baby topic under the sun and I feel better for the easing off of that pressure.
- Meditate 3x a week - Nope! I did it maybe once a week and mostly because Ryan was getting into meditation as a way to deal with his own stress. So I kind of just tagged along with him.
- Give myself permission to slow down and enjoy any and all downtime that comes our way! - Bahahaha! Yeah, there was no downtime. I networked, I did client projects up until the morning of my induction. I actually think the best thing about being induced was having a deadline, because I took the day off of work, wrapped things up with clients, and folded my damn laundry, which made me feel much better about the prospect of bring a baby home. You gotta have a clean spot to sit down where you feel safe. Or I do, anyway.
To Do
- Finish online childbirth class - Nope, and maybe that was a good thing. I think I needed breathing space more than another deluge of information.
- Discuss family values with Ryan - Sort of. We had a mini conversation but we didn't make a list or a family crest or anything (and yes, I really did want to do this and probably still will at some point).
- Tell my clients I'm taking February off for baby stuff - Check! And yes, I did work right up until my deadline, but we were all on the same page, and they knew I'd be gone for a while afterwards. It made it so much easier to start gradually phasing clients back in when I was ready instead of feeling pressured to do things as soon as physically possible.
In Conclusion
This month wasn't my most successful but it was better than the 2 months prior. I didn't magically morph into a centered being of positivity and light, but I also didn't implode and die from all the external pressures I put on myself. (Although that whole high blood pressure/induction thing brought me pretty close.) I'd like to give this one another try sometime in the future and see how much further I can take it when I don't have a huge life change looming.Summary: AKA Am I Happier?
I spent 5 months on this and I worked on Career Development, Social Life/Relationships, Self Actualization, Clearing the To Do List, and Mindset (above). It's easier to see the impact by category so I'll summarize that way.Career Development - Yes
I think when I started I thought by spending a month focused on my business, I'd build my client base up and have tons of work to do and everything would be great. That didn't happen. BUT I did find a ton of great resources, learned how to optimize and streamline a few areas of my business, educated myself, and made quite a few new connections. I have a couple good communities I really enjoy, and building connections that will be more profitable in the long run than acquiring a bunch of one-off projects.As for my business' contribution to my overall happiness, yes. This area definitely makes me happier now. I'm enjoying so many different aspects of my business and I'm not tying success just to each month's income. I've learned to look at the bigger picture and hopefully that will help me build something sustainable that doesn't have to scramble for income each month. Only time will tell, but for now I'm content to keep working and see what happens.
Edit: I wrote this mini summary back in January. 2 months later I have a LOT going on. About as much as I want to try to handle with the new baby. So yes, networking has definitely paid off, and I'm starting to see some real results here, in addition to feeling more fulfilled by the business.
Social/Relationships - Yes
October was my social month and I did a ton of stuff with a few different people. I almost pushed my poor, little introvert brain to the point of overwhelm, but not quite and some of these habits stuck. I've definitely been more social since October than I was over the summer. I have a new brunch group that I've been enjoying and I have at least one friend I've gotten closer to simply by spending more time together.And yeah, it does make me happier. Even the most introverted of us need human interaction and online doesn't always cut it (though it makes a pretty huge impact too!). Gretchen Rubin gets into the science of this in her book, but I've also noticed the impact in my own relatives. The more socially involved they are after retirement and into seniority, the happier they seem to be. I'm not going to run out and join a church group just because my happiest grandparent is in one, but I definitely want to keep a focus on community as I get older and continue to involve myself in clubs and social groups.
I feel like the older I get, the easier it is to let friendships grow apart and not put forth the effort to make plans or attend activities (everyone's so busy, after all!), but both scientific and anecdotal evidence shows that it does matter. So it's something I want to remember both for my later years and because it's already made me happier this past year.
Self Actualization - N/A
I dropped the ball on this one pretty badly. But maybe it was a good thing, because I learned what my priorities are. As much as I want to dive into every creative project and idea that comes my way, I don't enjoy them enough to make time for them. Yeah, I kind of want to write a book. But you know what I want more? To work on my business. When business picks up, I will always drop my personal projects and that's ok. Because now I know my business matters more to me.And while I called this "self actualization" I don't think I'm not achieving it by dropping those projects. I think I just learned that I feel more actualized by being an entrepreneur than an author. For now. I might still write a book one day, but it won't be today and it probably won't be this book.
I suppose I could cheat and say the overall impact on my happiness was positive because I let go of unnecessary obligations. But in reality I just didn't do this, and I don't spend much time reflecting on it, so it didn't have an impact.
Clearing the To Do List - Meh...
This was supposed to be my "fun" month but I was so overloaded and stressed out that I couldn't stand the idea of scheduling even more activities and pretending to enjoy them. I needed to do this and it helped me feel more prepared for the baby, but there's no permanent impact from clearing your to do list. It always manages to fill itself back up again. So did it make me happier? Yes, but not anything lasting or in any permanent sort of way. I honestly can't even think of a good takeaway or thing I learned from this month. Oh well. C'est la vie.Mindset - A Tiny Bit
Like I said above, I think the biggest impact was in being up front with my clients about what was going on in my life and not feeling the pressure to overextend myself. And that's a lesson I've continued. When someone asked for something in 2 hours, I said I would try, but no guarantees and if they needed rush work in the future, I could make it happen with advance notice and extra money. I've also finally started discussing money with people and raising my rates. Feels good!!!
The part about preparing for baby was perhaps unrealistic since you can't prepare for something when you have no clue what to expect. You just have to experience it and try to stay calm. So I'll say I feel much better and less stressed now than I did when we first brought him home, but that doesn't have a whole lot to do with my happiness project.
Future Plans
I actually read a book at the beginning of January, "Declutter Your Mind", that talks about setting core values, using those to make life priorities, and then building your goals based on where the biggest disparities are between your values/priorities and your actual life. It took me a little bit of reflection, but I think that's exactly what The Happiness Project is.I did the exercise from the book and tried to set my core values and so on, and I made some goals for 2017 based on the gaps. One core value was "entrepreneurialism" and I don't feel like I need to work on that right now, in large part because I spend a whole month dedicated to it.
I don't feel it's necessarily practical to divide your entire life up into months with a single focus, but I do want to continue trying to bridge the gaps between what I care about and what my actions are. So in a way, I guess I'm planning on making this whole concept an inherent part of my life.
And maybe it already was. I mean, what is self improvement, if not making changes to become what you think you should be or to emulate what's important to you? But thanks to this project and some of the reading I did in the final month, I have a more strategic way to go about it. And I hope, above all, to do as Gretchen does and "Be Jenn." To pick the values that really matter to me and not just read self help books from the "I should care about this" category.
Have you tried your own happiness project and how did it go? What categories did you/would you do for a happiness project?
